I wanted to take a minute to write about my amazing wife. I wanted to start by saying that I am not writing this for brownie points. In some ways writing this may annoy my wife, she seems to get annoyed when I tell her how pretty or great she is. She is a shy and modest person who doesn’t seem to enjoy praise, so a whole blog post devoted to her isn’t her favorite kind of thing, I’m sure she’d rather I kept my praises between her and I. I am also not writing this to make other mothers/wives feel like they don’t measure up to her. As modest as my wife is I’m sure some other mothers/wives hate how amazing she is, I swear to you she does not do it for that reason at all, it’s why she tries to pretend she is not amazing, she hates making people feel bad or to impose herself or views on others. I do feel I need to write this for myself to just get it all out, how amazing I know she is. I want to write it for my kids, they need to know how amazing she is. I also want it to be encouraging for others, either by calling out things all mothers and wives should be praised for by their husband and kids. Or maybe it will be something you will work harder to achieve in your own life. Either way its not meant to shove how amazing my wife is in your face. I promise that is not my intention at all. I love my wife and have said many times I could not imagine marrying anyone else if she died. I don’t think anyone else could fill her shoes, not even close.
There are some key areas that make my wife amazing and I will break them down here and explain why they are important and why she nails them so well. These are in no particular order.
My wife and I have been friends since we were about 13 years old. We met when I started going to youth group at her church. I “dated” girls in middle school and early high school. I say “dated” because we all know how stupid those early relationships are. I was at a youth group event and something dumb was going on with a girl I was “dating” there at that time. I remember walking away from her thinking this is all dumb, why am I doing this. I walked back into the main room and saw my future wife, Brandee sitting there by herself just watching the movie, no drama, not stupid clicks. I said to myself that is who I should be with. After that I began to talk to her a lot. I forget how it came about but I did end up calling her and started talking to her on the phone pretty often. Finally one day I told a girl at school, who asked me out, that I was dating Brandee and couldn’t go out with her. I remember telling Brandee that night that I did that, and I asked if she minded that I told the girl this and she laughed and said no. So that was my not so subtle way of seeing if she would consider going out with me. It wasn’t long after that I did finally ask her to be my girlfriend for real. We only ended up talking more and more after that. I remember thinking “oh this is what a real relationship looks like”. I couldn’t wait to talk to her each day. Fast forward to today, and this is still the case. There is no one is this world I would rather talk to or be with then my wife. I like doing hikes and some guy stuff for sure, but I still can’t wait to get home to my very best friend. Friendship should be drama free and easy. Of course we have things we get upset about with each other. But I truly believe your friendship with your spouse should be the easy and exciting part. It will make all the rest of the tough stuff that much easier and worth working through.
This is another area that Brandee is amazing at but an area I see a lot of wives fall short. I don’t think wives realize who destructive it can be to a husband when she is not supportive of him. So many times I’ll see a wife cutting a husband down. Even in a joking way in front of people, it’s just no good for him or their relationship. The more he is cut down the less he will try. The wife needs to be the one and only cheerleader, his biggest fan. My wife thinks I am amazing and she tells me so, and she means it. That doesn’t make me become lazy and say “alright I am already great why try harder”. It actually makes me want to try that much harder to surprise her, I can’t wait for her praise. She tells me I’m a great dad, husband, Christian, friend, person, that I’m tough, strong, hard working. All these things help sustain me and make me stronger and want to try harder. Please, I beg other wives to do the same, you will be surprised at what your husband can do with your encouragement. Don’t just say it, look for the ways to truly be proud of him. Soften your heart toward him, to allow yourself to see how great he is, try and look past his flaws. I sometimes get into what I call a funk ,with stress and sadness but she always comes along side me to pull me out and show my how great things really are. I am so thankful I can count on her everyday.
Another thing that encourages me to be better is how hard my wife works. I think this works both ways for us but my wife works her butt off. She home-schools our three kids, does normal house stuff, and teaches piano three nights of the week. So seeing her working so hard only means I need to keep up and try to out do her. I never get there, but I like to keep trying. I’m not sure if I ever make her want to work harder, but I might when I take on a big home project or something. I also do try and find ways to help relieve some of that work on her since I know she works so hard. Just because she is a hard worker and is good at it. Doesn’t mean I should allow her to put all that burden on herself.
This is an easy obvious one but of course needs to be said. She shows and tells me she loves me multiple times a day and I do the same in return. There is never a day that goes by that it isn’t said or felt. Love comes out of all other things she does like friendship, encouragement, etc. She shows so much love towards the kids and I. She also loves everyone around her and everyone loves her. Even though she is shy and quite, everyone loves being around her. She is also loving and understanding of others. She is far from a complainer, I know plenty of people who complain about everyone and everything around them. Their jobs are never good enough. Co-Workers are lazy and annoying. Family is driving them crazy. Health problems are always worse then anyone else. I know all these things can be a legit pain in our lives. But the way she lovingly approaches and deals with these issues in life is truly one of her best qualities. She has gone through medical issues that most people don’t even realize because she lovingly struggles on. She has also over the years help turn me into a more loving understanding person as well. My wife is a truly beautiful lady, much prettier then I deserve, but the loving person she is makes her 10X more beautiful to me.
My wife is way funnier then everyone else knows. I think some of her closer friend might realize how funny she is. But she is of course quite so most don’t see that side of her. There are few people that get all my jokes and my odd comments. As someone who really enjoys humor and a smart comment, I truly love joking with her. I am also thankful she finds me so funny. I see other relationships where with wife doesn’t find the husband funny and that would drive me crazy and make me sad.
She is by far one of the smartest people I have ever met. I know I’ve told people this and they probably think I’m just trying to get brownie points but again it just is who she is. Most people have no idea how smart she is because she is more then willing to keep her mouth shut in groups settings. Her being smart makes it easier to count on her judgment and it pushes me to be as sharp as I can be.
All of her traits described above come from this last one. The faith in Christ that my wife has is also inspiring to me. Everything she does in her life points to Christ. All the ways she loves me, our kids, our families, our friends, all the people in life, stem from her love of Christ and what he did for us. I know some of you reading this feel you have no room for Christ in your lives and this post isn’t really about that. I will tell you, it is what makes my wife the amazing women described above. She would not be this amazing person if she didn’t have the understanding of Gods infinite grace for us.